t h e . h a r d e s t . t h i n g

September 30th 2013 was the hardest and one of the saddest days of my life.

I miscarried my first pregnancy.

Words cannot describe the pain-emotionally & physically-that I am going through. I have never ever felt this way.

Going from such excitement about being new parents and having our very own baby to having that taken away in a matter of hours is life changing.

Honestly I never thought it would happen to me, happen to us. And truly, no one should ever EVER have to go through this.

I was nowhere even close to being prepared for this, especially because at my last doctor’s appointment everything was looking great. To me, this came out of nowhere. It wasn’t till a couple hours into the intense pains [seriously the most pain I have even been in] and bleeding [sorry to be graphic] that I thought something could be going wrong.

On the up side, I feel so blessed that this horrible thing happened so early on in my pregnancy. I understand 100% that it was for the best.

That something wasn’t forming right

That things wouldn’t have developed correctly

That it wouldn’t have worked out.

Even though I understand, my brain still has trouble wrapping my mind around what happened…if that makes any sense. And it also doesn’t make it any easier on my heart.

It is completely indescribable.

Luckily I have the most amazing husband in the world who has been so understanding and loving. He has been so dedicated to me even though he should be putting all his energy into school. 
He drops everything the second I need him. 
I am also super thankful my 
mom, sister, & cousin
drove down here to be with me as soon as they could.
All I can say is-I have the best family in the world!

 

[Because I swear I was pregnant]

So many test because we couldn't

believe I was pregnant

Just as much as we can't believe I'm not

pregnant anymore